A sharp, funny book about the perils of the music industry
Even at 11 years old — almost 12, he’d tell you — tween-pop phenom Jonny Valentine is afflicted with a certain Hollywood ennui. The singer, who shot to fame thanks to YouTube videos and a ferocious dipsomaniac of a momager, might be not-so-patiently waiting for puberty to arrive, but he’s already well versed in sleeping pills, publicity stunt relationships and websites that count down the days until he’s 18 and therefore “legal.” He’s also juggling lagging concert attendance, life on the road, and the sudden reappearance of a father who’s been missing for most of his short life.
In Teddy Wayne’s sharp, funny book, young Jonny serves as a carb-counting, video game-obsessed ragdoll for the music industry, consumers included, to play with until boredom — or a voice change — sets in. Valentine’s thisclose to being a Justin Bieber stand-in (he does have a signature haircut), but in the book he lags in popularity behind Tyler Beats, a slightly older, acne-prone crooner whose career he wants to emulate. Being second place — as well as lacking the professional and personal structure that seems to let Tyler function as more teen than machine — gives Jonny something for which to strive, giving the book a satisfying arc. A journey as smooth as Jonny’s own yet-to-explode skin wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable to read.
And while some of our protagonist’s observations seem beyond his years and parallels between his life and the hard-to-complete video game he can’t stop playing are a bit heavy-handed, it’s not hard to forgive these missteps and let Jonny Valentine‘s sugary charm win you over. That’s the whole idea.